By Dr. Keary O'Connor
In his newsletter The Imperfectionist, Oliver Burkeman recently opined on the idea that, “…cultivating good habits can be bad for you.” His rationale seems, well, rational. To paraphrase his post, are we spending time planning our plan to create a habit, or are we simply diving in and beginning? The planning alone can be a barrier. Are you spending all of your time and resources planning to do what you want to do or are you doing it now, in the present?
Supplanting the word change for habit consider this, are you planning your plan to change so that when the first of the month arrives you’ll begin? What happens when the first of the month arrives? One hundred other narratives could be inserted however the idea remains: are you planning or beginning? Maybe it’s time to just begin.
Change is challenging. Period.
In Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg writes of the fickle nature of motivation and redirects our focus to making tiny changes that are actionable and encouraged by prompts, rather than relying upon our will power.
When considering what, when and how to change a few questions merit reflection:
- What is YOUR motivation for pursuing change?
- What are YOUR fears and concerns about the process of change?
- What if you fail?
It has been captured by others that fail simply means First Attempt In Learning. To focus on perfection is not the goal, rather on the process of change and transformation. It takes time and requires kindness and self compassion, which in and of itself can be a huge barrier to change. Maybe the change is not learning to run a mile, but learning to love and accept ourselves first. Then we can learn to run that mile, or maybe two.
Try one of these ideas to start your change process:
- Disconnect from social media and reconnect with yourself.
- Set an alarm for the time to go to bed to help improve your sleep.
- Take a moment every 15 minutes for one 24 hour period to make note of what you’ve done during that time period.
- Be deliberately mindful for one meal and appreciate the appearance, taste, texture and smell of the food. Does it change your preference for that food?
- Finish your meal slowly, rather than rushing through it.
- Challenge or investigate some beliefs you have about change.
- Move for 30 seconds in a way that makes you laugh.
- Call someone today just to say hello.
Is it possible to make one small change that becomes foundational for major, long term transformation? YES. Just begin. Anywhere. The unglamorous steps can get you to the finish line.